


Too Many Bats

by SilhouetteOfLight



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: All but like 2 Bats are ok with killing, Bat-Family antics, Bruce Wayne's latest headache, Dick's a little shit, Gen, Jason's a little shit, Jim Gordon's latest headache, Savior is arrogant, That's a little weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:54:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilhouetteOfLight/pseuds/SilhouetteOfLight
Summary: There've been about a half-dozen people who used the title Batman. Bruce, Dick, Thomas, Tim, Jason, Azrael- The list goes on. But what if none of them retired the name?





	Too Many Bats

Commissioner Gordon glanced at his watch, then scowled at the activated Bat-Signal. Beside him, Detective Bullock shuffled his feet. "Is Batman usually this..."

 

"Late?" Montoya rolled her eyes. "Yeah, actually. Haven't you realized that by now?"

 

"Shut up," Gordon said, sighing. "He's here."

 

Sure enough, across the building, a black, amorphous shape began approaching them. "Commissioner," he growled, "What do you need?"

 

Gordon nodded, all business, and held out a file for the Bat to retrieve. "Three days ago, Harleen Quinzel-"

 

"Harley? I thought she was still in Arkham?" Gordon started, turning around. Behind him, leaning against the still active Bat-Signal, another Batman was smirking. "How's the family, Commish?"

 

Gordon scoffed. "Nightwing-"

 

"Batman."

 

" _Nightwing_ , what are you doing here? I thought you took off the cowl when the original returned?" Gordon motioned towards the first Batman who appeared.

 

The former apprentice to the Bat scoffed, before walking forward and snatching the files from the Commissioner's hands just as the first Batman approached him to take the papers. "Ok, that hurts. Hurts so bad, Jim. First of all, I'm my own man, B couldn't stop me from using this uniform if he  _tried_. And he did. He tried." He began scanning through the files, and after a few moments of awkward silence, he glanced back at the Batman currently shuffling his feet beside the Commish. "Oh, by the way, that's not B. That's... Flashman."

 

Gordon's eyes widened, turning back towards the now groaning Batman beside him, only now realizing his glowing red eyes, the thankfully empty gun holsters, and the bizarre version of the Bat symbol on his chest, but before he could say anything, 'Flashman' growled at Nightwing. "My name is  _Batman_ you ungrateful-" He sighed, pinching his nose for a moment in frustration. "Flashpoint. Batman. Flashman sounds like I'm some sort of..."

 

"Nudist? Criminal flasher? Soldier of indecent exposure?" Two Batmen, the GCPD Commissioner, and two very confused detectives turned towards the new voice and, of course, two more Batman. "C'mon, T, you know it's funny." This Batman had red eyes too, and slightly more unhinged than the rest so far. The Detectives didn't miss the gun holsters at his side, and unlike 'Flashman', he actually had weapons in them.

 

"Shut up, J." The second of the two new Batmen spoke, sighing dramatically and walking towards Nightwing. "Hand me the files, Nightwing."

 

" 'Shut up, J.' " The other new Batman, 'J', mocked his partner. "They trust you even less than they trust me, 'Savior.' It'd be funny if it weren't so sad." He paused, considering for a moment. "Nah, it's funny." He laughed.

 

Suddenly,  _another_ two Batmen landed in the middle of the crowd. They were virtually identical, save one had a  _fucking sword_ at their side. Jim breathed out.  _Tonight is going to be a long... long night._ Nightwing nodded towards the newcomers. "B, Azrael, how're you guys doing?" He smirked. "I think Bullock might be about to have a heart attack." Jim and Montoya glanced at one another, then at their partner, who seemed to be hyperventilating. They glanced at one another again, then both sighed in a way only someone who had dealt with the  _immense and utter frustration that is the Bat Family_  could sigh.

 

B- Presumably/hopefully the original Batman, simply rolled his eyes under his mask, though Jim wondered how he knew that. "Nightwing. Blüdhaven is receiving a shipment of cargo from Santa Prisca tonight, and I need you to intercept it. Red Hood, run support, and  _you know the deal_."

 

Nightwing and 'J'- The infamous Red Hood, apparently a Batman now- nodded. "I'll watch Golden Boy's back, don't worry." They vanished, and Jim was about to say something about Nightwing running off with the files, before he noticed them in the original Batman's hands. Naturally.

 

"Red Robin-"

"Savior. Actually no, Batman right now, thank you very much."

" _Red Robin_ , take your younger counterpart and the Black Bat and investigate the Ace Chemicals plant. I have reason to believe that Crane might be setting up shop there. They'll be watching you." With that, he dismissed another of the Bats, who had the same codename as the teenage former Robin? Apparently?

 

"... T." He glanced at the final Batman respectfully. "You and Azrael are with me. You know Gotham, but you don't know  _my_ Gotham. We'll be handling Quinn, Catwoman, and Ivy at the Botanical Gardens." With that, the three of them vanished without a word.

 

For a few moments, the rooftop was silent, before the Commissioner  _hmmed_ idly. "You know, I used to be Batman."

 

"Fuck this. I'm done." Bullock threw his hands into the air and walked back into the station, Montoya and the Commissioner laughing as they joined him.

 

On the roof, two more individuals turned off the Signal. "I can't believe they'd be so careless," the first chided. "This thing overheats where  _I_ am from, I know it still does here."

 

"You underestimate our Father, McGinnis." The second scoffed. "When he has a mission, he'll forget everything else."

 

"So lovable, Damian."

 

"No names."

 

"You literally called me McGinnis two seconds ago."

 


End file.
